The Adventures of the Psychos
by Freak in the Shadows
Summary: A great and random story of yaoi madness! Pure insanity. Mostly in Malik's POV Please readSome angst lots of humor ENJOY! character death
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not nor ever will own this anime. Or possibly any others.

Summary: A series of random chapters consisting of random ideas. Bakura, Ryou, Mariku, and Malik are involved, including random others. Most in Malik's point of view, rarely Mariku and Ryou's, but only uncommonly Bakura.

I began this story when I was twelve, so spelling and such is being fixed as I go.

Warnings: Graphic violence, sex, yaoi, shounen ai, standard pervertedness, and twelve year old writing mistakes or stupidity.

000**BEGIN**000

**Malik's POV**

I sat up and yawned before going to my yami's room. I saw him facing the door and looking beyond deranged, poking a needle in his wrist. Blood was all over the place.

Malik: Stop!

Mariku: (gurgles) hikari-mine!

I went over and pulled the needle his wrist, wiping away the blood.

Malik: Ishizu!

Ishizu walked in with a washcloth in her hand and when she saw the blood she wrapped it around Mariku's wrist.

Ishizu: Did you make sure he took his medication?

No, I watched television all night with him instead.

Malik: No...

Ishizu: Go get it while I wrap Mariku's wrist.

Mariku: Hikari-MINE!

Ishizu: Shh..

I went to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. It was too high for Mariku. I know that me being able to get to it is weird because I'm shorter then him, but I have my ways. There it was, the needle. If we don't inject this into him twice a day then he starts hurting himself and stuff. I think it's a kind of sedative or morphine. All I know is that it calms Mariku down. I went back to his room to see Ishizu holding onto Mariku's arms and keeping him away from my dagger. How'd that get into his room anyway?

Ishizu: Do you have it?

Mariku: Hikari-MINE! Sharpy!

Malik: Yep...

I watched Ishizu inject it into Mariku's side and Mariku whine something.

Mariku: Hikari-mine? Why does my wrist hurt?

Malik: Because you hurt yourself, now c'mere you!

I helped up Mariku up and laid him on his bed.

Mariku: Pretty birdy.. c'mere birdy...

Ishizu and Malik: Blood loss.

Odeon: Dun dun dun!

IM NOT GOTH: Review, it's that little button to the left. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not nor ever will own this anime. Or possibly any others.

Summary: A series of random chapters consisting of random ideas. Bakura, Ryou, Mariku, and Malik are involved, including random others. Most in Malik's point of view, rarely Mariku and Ryou's, but only uncommonly Bakura.

I began this story when I was twelve, so spelling and such is being fixed as I go.

Warnings: Graphic violence, sex, yaoi, shounen ai, standard pervertedness, and twelve year old writing mistakes or stupidity.

000**BEGIN**000

**Malik's POV**

Bakura had come over, worried about what Ryou thought of him (see Yami Bakura forgets to Take his Medication) and I helped him write a love note. Hope it worked. Mariku's been sleeping for a few days and Ishizu's been making sure there wasn't anything wrong with him. I think he's just exhausted from blood loss. I'm next to his bed right now because Ishizu told me to wait for him to wake up, huh?

Mariku: Hikari?

Malik: Hey, you're awake!

I'm exited that he's awake? This is new. But, then again, he is part of me. I started hugging him and then kissed his forehead. Hehe, he turned red as an apple.

Mariku: I-I a, gotta go to the bathroom.

He ran to the connected bathroom and was in there awhile. Hehe, I know why. Mariku came out and laid back down on his bed, cuddling into the sheets.

Mariku: Naked Malik...

I could feel my eyes widen.

Malik: Mariku, what the hell?

Mariku: C'mere Malikky..

I moved toward him cautiously.

Mariku: You're mine!

He grabbed me and crushed my lips into his. I was running out of air and hopefully Mariku was too. He finally broke away and I gasped for air.

Mariku: Hikari-MINE!

Odeon: Ahem, well, dinner is ready you two. You may continue your festivities AFTER dinner.

Malik: It wasn't me!

Odeon: Sure...

I couldn't believe it! My trusting and loyal practically my brother didn't believe me. Whatever, I'm hungry. So I go to the table, amazingly Mariku is already done and.. he... winked... at me... Ok scary. Medication? That's it, I'm losing it.

Odeon: Mariku, no flirting at the table.

Mariku: Oh dear Odeon..

Odeon: I'm out of here!

I'm alone with Mariku... HELP!

Mariku: Hikari-mine...

Was it just me or was his voice low and husky. Oh shit!

Malik: Someone! Help!

**Outside**

Yugi: Did you hear something?

Duke: Probably the wind.

Anzu: WIND IS LIKE FRIENDSHIP!

Mai: Someone shut her up.

**Mariku and Malik**

Malik: Mariku, get off me!

Mariku: Won't it be fun for you to be uke.

Ok, now I'm really scared. Uke? That means, NO MARIKU! DOWN BOY! Then Ishizu walks in.

Ishizu: (whispers) Dear Ra.

I saw her grab the needle while Mariku was licking and biting my neck, then walk up behind us. Then he arched his back, yelling obscenitites and fell unconscious on me. Ooh, heavy..

Malik: Where'd you stick him?

Ishizu: His ass.

We got Mariku off me and started laughing our heads off.

Odeon: Dun dun dun duuuuun!

IM NOT GOTH: Yo...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not nor ever will own this anime. Or possibly any others.

Summary: A series of random chapters consisting of random ideas. Bakura, Ryou, Mariku, and Malik are involved, including random others. Most in Malik's point of view, rarely Mariku and Ryou's, but only uncommonly Bakura.

I began this story when I was twelve, so spelling and such is being fixed as I go.

Warnings: Graphic violence, sex, yaoi, shounen ai, standard pervertedness, and twelve year old writing mistakes or stupidity.

000**BEGIN**000

**Malik's POV**

**Malik's POV**

It's been a few days and Mariku's kind of sex crazed. Oh, the doorbell rang.

Malik: Hi!

Bakura: It worked! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Boy he can be girly. But, he's my friend. My idiotic but sweet friend.

Malik: Good.

Oh Ra, he's hugging me.. Ow, can't breathe...

Malik: Ow.. Suffocating...

Bakura: Sorry! Thanks for helping me! 'Cept the fact that I almost died from hypothermia.

What?.!

Malik: What?.! How?

Bakura: We got in a fight and I went to the park. I forgot my coat though.

I just noticed he's kind of shivering now.

Malik: You forgot your coat again! Sit on the couch and I'll make you some hot cocoa.

Bakura: Uh, ok..

Then Mariku walks in.

Mariku:... SEXY TOMB ROBBER!

Oh Ra no...

Odeon:... Bye.

Well, now Mariku's straddling Bakura's waist and doing the exact same thing he did to me. Aw, it's cute to see Bakura so shy and timid.

Malik: Mariku, get off him!

Mariku gave him a few more kisses and a some licks before getting up, rubbing Bakura's slight erection through the clothing. I could feel myself getting hard while watching, it was cute.

Bakura: Wha-auh?

Bakura looks hot with his head back like that and his breaths coming out in gasps. I can see him tensing through his clothing, I can tell, I used to be with him. Bakura's already close to release. If I do get Mariku to stop, Bakura will still need release. I know, it will go no further than that. Oh my Ra... Mariku stuck his hand into Bakura's pants and is pumping hard.

Bakura: Uhhuh...

Oh Ra, he's going to release soon, any second. Do I have an extra pair of pants he can wear? Oh, there he goes.

Bakura: Ah! Huh?

I think Mariku knew what I was thinking because he left Bakura alone after that. I think Mariku was satisfied. Now back to Bakura.

Malik: You ok?

Bakura: Huh? Can I borrow some pants? Oh..

Malik: Ya hold on!

I went to get some pants and he changed quickly. Ooh, Mariku is SOOO grounded when I tell Ishizu!

Bakura: Thanks... I have to go, Ryou will be worried. I'll come by in a few days.

Malik: Ok, bye.

Then Ishizu walked in, glancing at the soiled pants on the floor.

Ishizu: Did Mariku molest another whore?

Malik: No, Bakura.

Ishizu: What!.?

Odeon: (thinks) They'll never know I go to whore houses... (says) Dun dun dun duuuun dun!

IM NOT GOTH:...I was twelve... -.-''


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

Mariku just took his medicine and is sleeping, I'd prefer to avoid him. I don't know where Odeon is, but I found porn magizines under his mattress. Psh, and we thought he was a 'goody goody'. Ishizu is out with Kaiba somewhere. Maybe it was the pharaoh? Whatever, I'm bored. I'll go check on Mari-AH! Naked pharaoh... In MY house... With my sister.. I have no revenge or another thing like that on Yami, but he's just plain annoying. Plus he talks all heroic and high. I'm surprised even Tea stayed. She isn't as bad. Whatever, I'm checking on Mariku. Ah, he's awake.

Mariku:...

He looks depressed about something, I'd better go over.

Malik: What's wrong Mariku?

He looked up.

Mariku: Hikari-mine?

Malik: Yes, hikari-yours.

I'm hugging him and he's leaning on me. Oh look, those guys in white coats just came in. Now they're trying to take Mariku. Leave him alone!

Malik: Leave him alone!

Coat 1: We just need to take him to our center for a check up and some diagnosis'.

Malik: Can I come? You have to wait for Ishizu!

Coat 2: Go get her, we'll wait here.

Mariku: Hikari-mine!

Malik: I'll be back.

Mariku: Hikari-mine be back soon?

Malik: Soon.

I went to get Ishizu and ran back with her.

Coat 1: We'll take you in our lovely white truck.

Coat 2: Quite pure..

Malik: Ok, c'mere Mariku.

Mariku: Hikari-MINE...

Ishizu: Shh Mariku.

Odeon: What will happen when they get to the asylum? Will Mariku be ok? Will Mai have sex with me again?

ING: Ending just scared the shit out of me. REVIEW! OR PAY!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

Ok, we're at the asylum/hospital place and they're giving Mariku a check up. We only go here because Mariku attacked normal doctors and they suggested for us to take him here. Ahh, they just took him out.

Nurse 1: Symptoms are less severe than before, he's becoming less homocidal.

Nurse 2: And the reason he's becoming more 'sex crazed' are hormones that are late in catching up to him and a few side effects of his medication.

Ishizu: Ok, but he cut himself to taste the blood. Anything he should take for that?

Nurse 1: Just the medication his taking should do.

I just noticed that they put him in a straight jacket for his check up. Cool!

Odeon: Can we take him home now?

Nurse 2: Of course, just sign these papers and him, your sister and brother can wait in the lobby.

Odeon: How did I get myself into-ok.

Wait, brother? Oh ya... Hehe, he's still in his straight jacket. What's with the dreamy look?

Malik: What's with that dreamy look Mariku?

Ishizu: They said we could take off the straight jacket since the room's empty except us, plus we can keep it if he gets more out of hand.

We pulled off the jacket and I sat down next to Mariku on the floor, waving a hand in front of his face.

Ishizu: They had to give him morphine for the shots so he wouldn't kill them.

Malik: Oh, ah!

His head just on my lap over a VERY uncomfortable spot! Ah! Ishizu!

Malik: Ishizu!

Ishizu: What's wrong-Hehehe... Your face is so red...

Malik: Get him off!

Ishizu: Alright.. alright...

She got him off me and instead he laid in front of me.

Then, oh fuck, Yami, Yugi, Ryou, and Tea walked in.

Tea:...

Ah, they were smart enough to wrap duck tape around her head.

Malik: What are YOU doing here?

Yugi: Dropping off Tea and then going to see Bakura.

What! BAKURA?.!

Malik: What do you mean Bakura?.!

Yami: He was taken here a few days ago and we don't have enough money to bail him.

Malik: I do!

I ran to the counter, thought about it and ran back.

Malik: Where are they holding him?

Ryou: First room to the right other side of the first door.

Malik: Thanks!

Ishizu: Hey!

I ran to his room and inside. I saw Bakura facing the wall and rocking back and forth.

Malik: Bakura?

I went over and faced him. Bakura had blood dripping from his mouth and he was muttering something inaudible. I ran to the guard and paid him five hundred dollars in cash to let me take Bakura and went back to the lobby, carrying him in my arms. Tea was gone and Ryou was sitting there growling. Mariku was out of dreamland and giving the pharaoh a wedgie. Cool!

Malik: I'm back!

Ryou: Bakura!

He ran over and took Bakura from my arms.

Ryou: Thank you Malik!

Malik: No problem, just don't him out of the house much. And, I think he's sick.

Ryou: Ok, let's go guys! I need to put Bakura to bed.

They left and I laughed. Freedom! Then, I felt Mariku lick the uncovered part of my back.

Malik: EUAGH!

Ishizu: Down Mariku...

Mariku: I wuv you hikari-mine..

Awww! Wait! This is Mariku! Huh? He's somehow gotten in front of me and he's hugging me.

Malik: Eh?

Oh, Odeon just walked in and has an annoyed look on his face.

Odeon: Let's go already.

Ishizu: Dun dun dun!

IMG: Over and out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Mariku's POV**

Ooh, we home now... Hikari-mine's taking me somwhere. Where are we going hikari-mine?

Mariku: Where we going hikari-mine?

Malik: We're going to bed.

Bed? Me no want to sleep alone! I scared.. Shadow realm and man eater bug under my bed...

Mariku: Me no want to sleep alone hikari-mine!

He's looking at me funny, did Mariku say something wrong?

Malik: Say Malik, ok?

Mariku: Mahik.

Hikari-mine is looking at me funny again. What Mariku do?

Malik: No, say Ma-lik.

Why hikari-mine asking Mariku this?

Mariku: Ma-ik..

Hikari mine sighs and keeps pulling me upstairs. Wait!

Mariku: Can Mariku sleep with hikari-mine? Please?

Malik: Ok.

Yea, hikari-mine said yes. Mariku not scared no more! We're in hikari-mines bedroom and he changing into sleeping clothes. Now he's changing me. Huh?

Mariku: Ma..lik?

Malik: You said my name!

Malik is hikari-mines name? Mariku happy he happy!

Mariku: Malik, you happy for Mariku?

Malik: Yes, now let's go to bed.

Hikari-mine, Malik, is tucking me in. Then he turned off the lights, night night hikari-mine.

IMG: It gets sick by the way. This is a story for yaoi obsessed freaks who love random shit. Cool, huh?


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

I wake up, almost screaming when I noticed Mariku in my bed but remembering last night. Now wake up!

Malik: Wake up!

Mariku: Nnn... Hikari-mine Malik?

Malik: Yes, now. get. up!

He got up and dragged him into the kitchen where Ishizu and Shadi-SHADI! NOT THE DAMNED TURBAN DUDE! AAHH!

Malik: What the fucking hell are you DOING in MY house?.!

Ishizu: Malik, watch your mouth.

Malik: Yes sir, I mean it.

Oh Ra she's giving me that look before she-RUN!

Malik: AH! I MEANT MAM!

Shadi: Please unhand your brother in front of me.

Odeon: No wedgies in the kitchen.

Ow, for once, I'm happy for Shadi. AH! I'VE BEEN CORRUPTED BY-Oh wait, Mariku's just got his hand down the front of my pants and they're all looking at me weird-WAIT! MARIKU HAS HIS HAND DOWN MY PANTS! GET OUT!

Malik: GET OUT!

Mariku: Hikari-MINE.

AHHH! WHY ME?.!

Malik: BLOODSUCKINGDAMNED-!

Mariku: Coo... HUGGY!

Ishizu: Aw! They're bonding!

Malik: Ah.. Can't.. Breathe...

Shadi: Um, Mariku's sufficating him.

Thank Ra for Shadi right now, ooh, running out of air.. All goes black..

Odeon: Oh dear...

KBF (old name): Anyone think I should write a story about Malik's childhood, except Mariku is his younger twin brother? A bit crazy brother? Any ideas about something like that? I've been having the same dream for three days when I'm sleeping during the day (cat naps) and another one every night (real sleep).

Bakura: Review!

IMG: Anyone else realize I wrote short chapters? And I was (am) too perverted for my own psychotic good?


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Mariku's POV**

I was just showing hikari-mine how much I love him. Why'd he fall over?

Mariku: Why hikari-mine fall?

Ishizu: You hugged him too tight. Be gentle.

Icky, gentle about what?

Mariku: Icky, gentle with what?

Ishizu: Ew! Don't think like that Mariku!

It's not Mariku's fault. Hikari-Malik-mine have those icky naked magizines. I had nothing to do.

Ishizu: Stay here, I'll be right back.

Mariku: Ok Ishiu.

She looked at me weird. What does Mariku keep doing wrong?.! WAH!

**Malik's POV**

I just woke up and I see Mariku crying next to me. Time for work.

Malik: What's wrong?

Mariku: What's Mariku doing wrong?.! Everyone always looks at Mariku funny and Mariku sad!

Oh Ra, I didn't know he felt like that. I patted him on the back, telling him sweet things. Then Ishizu walked in.

Ishizu: Here's Mariku's medication.

She handed me to bottle of a liquid and one bottle of pills.

Malik: Ok.

I spoon fed him the liquid and then almost had to force a pill down his throat. Then I really looked at him. He looked calm, almost peaceful, sitting and staring at the floor.

Mariku: Thank you Malik.

He just said my name right again and doesn't even look deranged. Geez, how long's it been since we've given him this stuff?

Malik: No problem.

He's giving me this look again.

Mariku: You've never talked to me like I'm human.

That's because you never acted human.

Malik: Only because you never acted that way.

Mariku: I'm sorry. I'm going to bed now.

Malik: Good night.

Mariku: Same for you.

He went upstairs and I continued to sit stupified on the floor.

Ishizu: It's time for bed you know.

Ah! How'd she get there?

Malik: Ah!

Ishizu: A bit jumpy aren't we? Why don't I fix that..

She's bending down toward me and-HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE JUST STUCK HER HAND DOWN THE FRONT OF MY PANTS! What is she-ahhh... Oh Ra, this feels great... Wait, she's my sister! Ahhhh, who cares...

Ishizu: Feel good Malik?

Malik: Oh Ra yes...

She's pumping me like Mariku was doing to Bakura and I can feel myself coming. Oh Ra... Ohhh...

Malik: AH!

Ishizu: Well, that was satifying.

Then, she left me with a white spot in the front of my pants.

Odeon: Dun dun duuuuuun!

IMG: ...oh my god. I was sick. Beyond ALL means. (shock twitch twitch) Ew...


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

I-I can't believe it. Last night was the most weirdest night of my life. Oh well, I think Marik's got the right medication now. He's being, civilized and even EATING politely. No NORMAL male eats like that. He has to be wearing a shocker or something under that collar, hey! What's that under his neck? I kicked him under the table and told him to come with me over the mind link. Hehe, forgot about that damned thing.

Malik: See ya!

Mariku: May I be excused?

Ishizu: Yes Mariku, Malik you should be more like Mariku.

WHA-?.! FUCK NO!

Malik: Eheh, very funny.

We got into the hall and I grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked it down. I WAS RIGHT! Cool. Ok, it's one of those shock collars, where's the shocker? Ishizu! I dragged him to his room and made him lay in his bed. Then I ran to Ishizu's room. Ok, normally I don't EVER go into her room. I hear her and Yami screwing like bunnies in heat sometimes. It's disgusting, one time I even walked in on them. Ok anyway, I go in, ew, and see the shocker button by the door. Fool. I grab it and run for Mariku's room. Ooh, I got lucky. There's the key attached to this too. When I got there, he was still sitting emotionless and staring at the wall.

Malik: I have the key!

His head popped up and he smiled happily.

Malik: Thanks Malik.

I took off the collar and watched as he bounced in the air.

Mariku: YAH! I'M FREE!

Malik: Hush! Hush! Hush!

Mariku: Sorry, I got a bit carried away.

Malik: No problem, can you send this to the shadow realm?

A second later the items were gone.

Malik and Mariku: YAH!

Odeon: Dun dun dun...

Malik: Oh shit.

Mariku: Tell me you're not on her side.

Odeon: I'm not.

Ishizu: Not what?

Odeon: Dun duun dun duuuuuuun!

KBF: Review!

IMG: HAHAHAAAAA! LOOK BELOW! I think it's THERE! THE REVIEW THINGY! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAHA! ...oh, nevermind it went bye bye.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

Being grounded sucks... Sad thing is, I forgot why we're grounded.

Mariku: I'm out of here.

He's climbing out the window-HEY!

Malik: Don't leave me!

Mariku: Then come on!

We snuck out the window and down to Bakura's. I wonder if he's feeling ok now? Mariku knocked on the door and Ryou answered.

Ryou: Hi?

Malik: Can we see Bakura?

Ryou: I guess, but be quiet.

We walked in and into Bakura's room. He was propped up by pillows as he stared at a T.V, watching The Mummy. I looked at his eyes and found they were glazed over a bit.

Mariku: You ok Bakura?

Bakura slowly looked over and started choking on something, then spit it out. Blood.

Malik: Ryou!

Ryou burst into the room and looked at immediately in alarm.

Ryou: What's wrong?

Bakura repeated to choke and spit blood before softly whispering inaudiblely.

Ryou: Oh no!

He ran to the connected bathroom and came back with a needle, filled with a reddish liquid. We watched as he injected it into Bakura and then put it back from where it came from.

Mariku: What happened?

Ryou looked up and started stroking Bakura's jagged hairs.

Ryou: Well, after he'd gotten back from your place the last time he was there, he was playing around with a cd player in the kitchen while I was washing dishes. He dropped it into the sink and went to take it out. Before I could stop him, he'd electricuted himself. He sat on the floor for a second and then started vomiting blood, I have no idea why. I took him to a doctor and now I have to give him that medicine to help his insides heal. Though the last time I let him out when he was acting normal he got put in an asylum for god knows why. They didn't know about what happened.

I looked at him amazed and then at Bakura, who'd gone back to staring blankly at air. I felt myself sit next to Bakura as well and stare at him.

Mariku: We should go.

Malik: I guess... I hope Bakura feels better.

Ryou: Thank you, it was nice of you to visit.

We left and headed back home where Ishizu was waiting for us, eyes like knives.

Ishizu: WHERE WERE YOU TWO?

Odeon: Oh dear...

Mariku: Eh, visiting Bakura. He really needs us right now.

Odeon: Um, how about you guys go to your rooms.

I'll go with that!

Ishizu: Not so fast!

Oh crap...

Shadi: DUN DUN DUUUUN! Hey, it's my new job!

KBF: Oh Ra... That was WAY to angsty... Oh well, next chapter going to have humory humor. AND don't worry (dodges knives thrown by Bakura fangirls) he'll be fine!

Bakura: I hate you!

KBF: AT least I updated! Now, you see the small blue box on the lower left hand corner of the screeen? Click it and review. PLZ!

ING: ...That thing below, yeah. I can't get rid of it.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

It's only been two frickin' weeks...

AND I HAD TO CLEAN A RA DAMNED TOILET! AFTER 'THE PHARAOH' USED IT!

At least it's better then what Mariku had to do, he now has to wear a steel shock collar, I didn't even know those existed! I think he's going crazier then when he'd taken over my body in Battle City.

I had to do other things to, I'd prefer not to say...

Mariku: Malik...

Huh? Where'd he come from?

Malik; Ya?

Mariku: Where's Odeon?

I think he's at the pharaohs...

Malik: Probably the pharaohs...

Mariku: Oh...

Ok, what's wrong...

Malik: What's wrong?

He pulled up the sleeves of his shirt and showed me a bunch of scrapes, then showed me scrapes on his stomach.

Mariku: I fell.

And WHY didn't he just come to me?.!

Malik: Why didn't you just come to me?

Mariku: I got you in trouble...

I hate being the bad guy...

Malik: C'mere...

I pulled a roll of bandages from under my bed, by the way I'm in my room, and started wrapping it around his chest and stomach. He turned his head so he was facing me.

Mariku: Thank you...

No problem, I've got nothing better to do. THANKS TO EVIL SISTER FROM HELL!

Malik: No problem.

I finished wrapping him in bandages and took some gameboys from under my bed. Man, I've been hiding those for weeks.

Malik: Here, make sure Ishizu doesn't find it.

He looked down at it and smiled.

Mariku: Thanks.

He left and went to his room while I started playing Stupid (super) Mario Bros. It is a weird game.

Ishizu: Malik!

Malik: Ah! I hid the gameboy under my bed just as she opened my door.

Ishizu: Bakura and Ryou are here. I'm going to let you and Mariku have a free day.

Whew.

Ishizu: And oh ya, hand over the gameboy.

What?.! How'd she-?.!

Malik: Hn...

I handed it over and went downstairs.

Ryou was sitting on the couch, watching a chibi Bakura look around and do this kind of cute looking dance... CHIBI BAKURA?

Malik: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Ryou: I don't know, BAKURA LET GO, I was hoping you could tell me.

Sorry, too interrested in watching Bakura dance around and tug on your sleeve urgently.

Malik: See what he wants first.

Ryou: What is it Bakura?

Bakura: I's gots to go potty!

Oh Ra, I think a vein burst from me trying so hard NOT to laugh... OH RA!

Malik: HAHAHAHA!

Ryou: Er, where's your bathroom.

Bakura: HUWY!

It's so funny the way he's jumping around.

Malik: That way.

When they came back, Bakura was quiet and Ryou started talking again.

Ryou: So it happened fifteen minutes before I came, by the way, where's your yami?

Oh shit... I ran upstairs to see if Mariku was ok and found him sleeping on his bed, chibi.

Ryou: Guess it's contagious.

KBF: Dumb way to end a chapter? Too bad! I only get to be at my Dad's a day. Well, review!

ING: Hm, oddness.

**

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	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ryou: So, what are we going to do?

Not my fault they're chibi... Oh joy, nightmare's waking up.

Mariku: CANDY!

Oh Ra...

Malik: You need to be a good role model for Bakura!

True, Bakura looked around two years younger then Mariku.

Bakura: Uh, CANDY!

Ryou: Great, your yami's setting a bad example.

At least the pharaoh isn't here.

Outside: TOMB KEEPER!

I spoke too soon...

KBF: Ok, review! Oh come on! You know I wouldn't leave ya hangin'!

The entire crowd of idiots just barged in.

Jonouchi: What'd ya do Malik?

He was pointing to the two toddlers behind him. Wait? Is that, KAIBA? Oh, this is rich... AND the pharaoh... My dream come true. HEY?

Malik: What makes you think I did it? And is that Kaiba?

Anzu: You are warped enough and yes, that's Kaiba.

She pointed behind her, but know one was there. Nope, they're all behind Bakura, about to pounce on him.

Bakura: WAH!

Malik: Get off him!

I dragged three five year olds off the smaller one and proceded to smack them.

Malik: That's mean!

Anzu: Why don't you just let them beat him up? Do you have feelings for him?

Why you nasty whore... LEMME AT HER! I dropped the toddlers and lunged at her.

Ishizu: MALIK RASHIN ISHTAR!

Oh shit, I'm sooooo screwed.

Ishizu: You forgot to do the dishes.

Oh.

Ryou: Shh, it's ok Bakura...

Bakura was sucking his thumb, having a nasty scrape above his eye and whimpering.

Yuugi: So you DO have feelings for him?

Evil little migit.

Malik: JUST GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE PHARAOHS DECENDENT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BARGE IN WHEREVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR POSSE!

I think my brain just blew up...

Mariku:... CANDY!

ING: Hm... My username intitials are funny... ing...:D

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	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

I am so tired... Mariku hasn't taken his medicine AND is STILL five years old. Ryou and Bakura are staying here, but Bakura's only three and a lot more mellow. At least the other two aren't here...

Bakura: WAH!

Wow, who knew Bakura was so wimpy? And. Mariku. Was. So. Strong? And a good fighter?

Ryou: Shh...

Well, Bakura's nose is all bloody and Mariku's looking all pleased. OW!

Ryou: Stop spacing out and HELP ME!

Malik: You didn't have to hit me!

Ryou: Oh, that was Mariku.

Ow, kid hits hard.

Mariku: I leader.

Malik: No.

HELL NO.

Mariku: I LEADER.

Ryou: No.

RA NO.

Mariku: I LEADER!

Ryou and Malik: NO!

Bakura: No ye-ye-bweing lowd!

This kid is cute.

Ishizu: Malik, I need you to clean the living room. For Ryou's sake, I'll take those two.

Ryou: Thank you Ishizu.

Malik: Hey! WHAT DO I GET OUT OF THIS?

Ishizu: Toddlers not jumping on you.

Oh.

Malik: Yes master.

I said it in monotone and saluted. I hereby say that earned me a whack in the head with a broom. I cleaned the living room and afterwards, quite suddenly heard two familiar cries. I ran to my room, where Ishizu and the damned toddlers were inhabiting, and opened the door. Instead of seeing two toddlers I saw two, quite moody looking, twelve year olds.

Malik: What happened?

Bakura: Fuck off.

Mariku: Asshole...

Ok, Mariku definitely needs medicine, but, I'm not sure about Bakura.

Ryou: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

Stop freaking out!

I took out Mariku's medicine and injected him with it. He calmed down and I looked at Bakura.

Bakura: Stop staring at me you fuckin' man whore!

Wow, this kid has got a mouth... Ryou patted Bakura on the back, but moved away as he was glared at.

Malik: Why'd you do that? I'd expect you to whack him in the head!

Ryou whispered in my ear and said Bakura thought I was looking at him because he was fat. HELL NO! THIS KID IS SKINNIER THEN A ROD! Not my rod mind you. (a/n: Take that any way you want. But, I meant it in a bit of a perverted way.)

Mariku: Well, can we get ice cream?

KBF: Ok, I am SO twisted...

Bakura: Hell ya!

Mariku: Shuddup!

Bakura: FUCK YOU!

Mariku: No thanks.

Bakura: AH!

KBF: Calm down Bakura! (grabs him so he doesn't kill Bakura) Ok everyone! That's just my normal day. Eat. Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Write fan fiction. Fight with my yami's. Whack someone in the head. And then suffer insomnia that night. Grand, ain't it?

Ryou: Review peacefully!

KBF: SHIT! Where'd you come from?

ING: ...hm... sixth grade. Definitely.

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	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**-LEMON, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED-  
**

Malik's POV

We went to get ice cream. Afterwords Bakura seemed to melt a bit. We went to a movie and he fell asleep on Ryou. That was funny, and, strangely cute. Never knew he could be so moody though. Maybe he's PMSing? Oh yeah, and did I mention Kaiba, **_the_** KAIBA, actually gave us a ride home. WITHOUT asking what happened to our yamis. Hey! HOW'D HE GO BACK TO NORMAL SO FAST? Whatever, we're back home now. Bakura's asleep and Mariku's poking me with a stick...

Malik: HEY!

Mariku: Hey what?

Malik: Stop that, go poke someone else.

Mariku: Fine.

Next thing I know, there was a yell from where Bakura was and Mariku's being chased out of the room by Bakura.

Bakura: Get back here!

Mariku: Ok!

Mariku ran past Bakura, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room. Ryou came in a minute later.

Ryou: You know we shouldn't leave them alone. They're are in less control of their sexual desires since they're younger, I know for a fact that they're both as horny as hell, and that they both like each other.

I thought for a second, then groaned. He was right. We ran to the room they both were in and opened the door. Mariku was straddling Bakura and they were playing tongue war. Mariku slipped his hand down Bakura's pants and grasped his hardened organ, causing him to moan. I that they were enjoying this because of what was leaking over our link. I could tell Ryou had the same problem.

Malik: Stop it you two!

I REALLY don't think that they noticed. Actually, I could tell Mariku was ignoring me, but Bakura was too deep in pleasure. Maybe we should just watch, and we did.

-Lemon in Mariku's POV Explicit-

I unbuttoned Bakura's jeans and freed his erection. I don't care how fucking old we are or if our stupid hikari's are watching us, he's just so damn hot, panting and moaning. I grasped the organ and started pumping him, and no doubt from his moans that he enjoys it.

Bakura: Oh gods...

I felt a smirk perk up on my face as I turned the cold tomb robber into jelly. I could tell he was close to release and pumped harder, using my other hand to mess around with his erect nipples. Then I ceased everything and positioned my mouth above his cock.

Bakura: Wha-Ohhh...

Hey, I wouldn't mind tasting him. I deep throated him and swallowed easily when he came. I moved back up his upper body and looked down at Bakura. He was panting and sweat was visible on his body. Ra he's sexy. I had an idea and ripped both of our pants off. Bakura looked frightened for a second but I said it was ok while consoling him. Afterwords I ground both of our hot sexes against each other and smirked again as he screamed.

Bakura: Mariiiik...

Man he's hot...

/Mariku, this is going a little too far../

I rolled my eyes.

/**Stuff it..**/

I continued grinding against Bakura, grunting when I came on Bakura's stomach and he came on mine. I had another idea and took a bottle of lotion.

/WHAT ARE YOU DOING!../

I didn't answer while spreading the lotion on my erection and on Bakura's enterence. I put more on my fingers and looked over at him.

Mariku: This may hurt..

He just nodded and relaxed his muscles. I stuck one finger into his passage and checked to see if it was causing him pain. He just nodded again and I added another finger. He tensed slightly, but relaxed himself again. I stuck in my third finger and Bakura whimpered, widening his legs. I pulled them out easily and positioned myself. I pushed the tip of my cock into his enterence and felt Bakura stiffen once again before relaxing. I pushed further and he cried out slightly.

I saw Ryou out the corner of my eye flinching at his yamis pain. Bakura stopped whimpering and I started slowly pushing in and out of him.

Bakura: Oh Ra!

Obviously the pain went away. Ra he's tight. Gods! His erection was just below his belly button, dripping precum on his stomach.

/MARIK!../

I ignored him again and pumped harder.

Bakura: Oh Ra Mariku! Harder!

I thrusted harder and faster, most likely hitting the bundle of nerves that made him scream in pleasure. Ra he's tight. I kept hitting those same nerves that made him scream until he came, tightening around my erection and causing me to spill my seed into him.

Bakura: Mariku...

I collapsed next to him and smiled, that was so damn fun.

**-END LEMON-**

* * *

Malik's POV

Bakura almost immediately fell asleep and Mariku was not far behind him. We ran over and covered two naked preteens in a blanket, then me and Ryou went into the other room.

Ryou: Oh my god, I cannot believe they did that... And in Ishizu's room too.

Oh shit...

Ishizu: EEEEEEEEKKK!

KBF: Oh my god... I CANNOT BELIEVE I WROTE THAT...

Bakura: Why do you always enjoy me being uke?

KBF: 'Cause you're cute, now do the review hopes.

Bakura: (blushing) Er, please review nicely...

ING: AH... MY... GOD... -.-' oO'' I'm demented!

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	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Malik's POV**

Ryou and I had cleaned Ishizu's sheets and Odeon had carried them to Mariku's room. Now we were next to the two sleeping little none virgins and waiting for them to wake up.

Bakura: Hunh? Wha-?

I guess he's awake.

Ryou: Good morning, have a good time yesterday?

Ra his smile creeps me out.

Mariku: Well, I feel refreshed.

Ya, sure ya do.

Bakura: My ass hurts like fuckin' shit...

Ryou: Watch your language mister!

Bakura: Yes mommy. By the way, if your a woman then where are those round things that bounce on your chest?

Oh Ra... MWUAHAHA! HILARIOUS!

Mariku: Ha! They're called boobs you dumbass!

Bakura: Shut up!

Ryou: I'm not that feminine, am I?

Yep, more then even THAT feminine.

Malik: No, no, of course not!

Ryou: Oh, ok.

Malik: Why don't we just leave for a little bit.

Ryou: I-I guess.. feminine?

OH RA!

We left and the two little demons seperated into different rooms.

Bakura's POV **MASTURBATION**

Why do I feel so tired? AND my ass hurts! And why am I getting smaller?

Bakura: Gweat, now I's seven.

I never liked that age. AH! Oh great, a boner.

Bakura: What duh hell?

I hate this small little mind, ah! It's taking over eek!

Bakura: Mys pantses are making me uncomfwortible. Too many rubsy. Ooh.. That fwelt good..?

My little mind started poking at the spontanious erection and giggled at the feeling. Joy, little me has discovered masturbation. But, it does feel good I guess..

Bakura: Hee!

Ah, I've learned the joys of rubbing myself. Hope I don't have a chance to cum before Malik comes in. That's a mess!

Bakura: Ooh..

Damn it, I must be close. Crap! Come on! Just get it over with!

Then, I heard the door open...

Malik: Bakura!

KBF: Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. AND MY COUSIN GAVE ME CANDY!

TNI: And I f-ing regret it...

KBF: Well, the next chapter won't be like this. It will be suitable for children under, say, fourteen? What ever, tune in next time for another chapter!

**

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	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Well, they're back to normal...

Bakura: MALIIIIIIIK!

But they're still annoying as hell..

Malik: WHAT?

Bakura: YOU'RE BITING MY HAND!

Oh.

Malik: Sorry.

Now, I don't even remember my teeth connecting with his hand, which by the way is bleeding badly now. Where's Mariku?

Mariku: BONZAI!

Oh. Ow. I wonder if someone drugged me in my sleep? I'm unusually calm...

Ryou: Not feminine...

Malik, Bakura, and Mariku: YES YOU ARE!

Ryou: Wah!

Man, he's a baby.

Bakura: Ahhh! Mariku! STOP MOLESTING ME!

I popped up at that.

Malik: Mariku, go to your room!

He did and Bakura sat between Ryou and me, sniffing.

Malik: What? Are you going to cry or something?

He just kept on sniffing. I gave up and pulled him into my arms. Bakura looks up surprised with some tears on his face.

Malik: Don't say anything. Just go to sleep.

Ryou: Ya Baku-chan.

Bakura: Hmm...

Well, at least he's asleep now.

Mariku: CAN I COME OUT?

Or. Not...

Bakura: Uhuhuhuh!

I think he still possesses the brain of a child.

Ryou: I've got him.

I'll get Mariku...

Malik: SHUT THE HELL UP MARIKU!

Mariku: Hmph! Fine!

Ishizu: How's everything going?

Ryou: Shh.. Bakura's finely asleep.

Now, HOW THE HELL WAS HE THE KING OF THIEVES?

Ishizu: Right, have fun kids!

Odion: ... She's finely taken her medication... Thank Ra..

ISHIZU. MEDICATION.. HAHAHA!

Bakura: Wyou...

Ryou's and my eyes widened.

Malik: Bakura... What do you think he's dreaming?

Ryou: I don't want to know...

Mariku: I's BACK hikari-mine!

Oh fuck ...

Malik: It's 'I'm back'.

Mariku: Fuck off!

Malik: Watch your mouth!

Mariku: What? You says it's all the times in your head and out aloud!

YOU LISTEN TO MY THOUGHTS?

Malik: YOU LISTEN TO MY THOUGHTS?

Mariku: Yeses.

Ryou:... Is he getting a lisp or something?

Bakura: Ryou-chan...

Ryou: What?

Bakura: Where's my mommy and daddy?

Odion and Malik: WHAT THE HELL?

Mariku: Watches yours moufth!

KBF: I love my ending. REVIEW!

Bakura: FAIRY GODPARENTS!

KBF: C'mere nice men in white jackets!

ING: Hm, interesting.

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	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

**Ryou's POV (bet u thought i never do it)**

Ok good. Bakura's asleep, Mariku's slightly off hyper, and Malik's taking a nap as well. I feel sorry for him. FEMININE? Sorry... Oh no! Bakura! Don't wake up!

Bakura: Ryou? What's going on?

He doesn't remember anything?

Ryou: Do you remember anything?

Bakura: Not really, except my ass hurting like hell-

Ryou: Watch your mouth!

Bakura: Sorry, and getting shocked by a cd player in water. Oh Ra! Was I raped?

Oh, he remembers sometime last month and a day or two ago... No!

Ryou: No! You weren't raped!

Or at least not that I know of...

Bakura: Whew good, then was that a dream?

How should I put this nicely...? NO!

Ryou: NO!

There, that sounds ok.. Why's he looking so scared?

Bakura: T-Then something happened to me? R-Ryou!

Now he's crying... Oh no..

Ryou: Calm down...

Bakura: I don't even know what's wrong! Why am I c-crying! I'm s-so confused!

You know.. This is vaguely familiar...

(Ryou's flashback)

Ryou: Daddy! I-I don't know w-what's wrong!

His Dad: It's a process called puberty. You're body's changing and your hormones are too.

Ryou: When w-will it stop?

His Dad: In a few years..

(end flashback)

Oh my god... Oh my god... TELL ME THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!

Bakura: R-Ryou, do you k-know what w-wrong?

Oh god...

Ryou: Have you ever felt like this before?

Please say yes..

Bakura: N-No..

Oh fuck it!

Ryou: It's called the cruel and unusual process of _puberty_.

Bakura: Puberty?

Ryou: Yes, _puberty_..

Bakura: What is it?

I have to explain this to him? Here goes...

Malik's POV

I wake up from Bakura screaming and crying and Ryou trying to calm him down. Mariku's next to me making weird noises in his pillow. I pull him up and am surprised to see him crying too.

Malik: What's wrong?

Then he says the worst thing possible.

Mariku: Blueberry icecream!

Malik: OH NO! REALLY?

Mariku: No!

Malik:WHAT?

Mariku: PUBERTY!

Malik: NOOO!

NO! The worst case scenerio! PUBERTY! The most cruel thing alive!

Ryou: So that's why they don't have any hair around their genitals...

Malik, Bakura, and Mariku: WHAT?

Ryou: That's why they're still so immature in nearly every way. I thought they shaved it. Then I learned when Bakura played with the razor and hurt himself really bad that they can't use them.

Malik: That's just damn great...

Dartz: Dun dun duuuuuun! What will they do now that they've discovered their darks were _immature_...

KBF: They were already immature! Whatever, just review.

ING: ...I had a preview, but I ain't giving it to you. :P

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	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Well, it's settled. Ryou and I were talking and decided to send our yamis to.. A PUBERTY CLASS..

Odion: DUN DUN DUUN!

Malik: Would you get out of here?.! It's not your time yet!

Odion: Yes sorry..

Sorry indeed, heh..

Ryou: So, you do think this is a good idea?

Malik: Do you want to tell them about it yourself?

Ryou: Hell no!

In the other room-

Mariku: Say, fuck.

Bakura: Uh, fuck?

Mariku: Good, now say shit.

Bakura: Shit..

Mariku: Good, come here!

Bakura: What do those mean?

Mariku: They're for polite conversations.

Bakura: Conversautjdr?

Mariku: Whatever, sit down.

Bakura: Mariku, ah!

Other room-

What the hell!

Ryou: Are they doing it again?

Malik: I don't know but I'm going to find out!

We ran into the living room to find Bakura in Mariku's arms with Mariku eating his neck.

Malik: Ok! Ok! Down boys!

Mariku looked over and Bakura panted, clutching Mariku's shirt.

Ryou: Now, Malik and I wanted to tell you something important..

Bakura: OH MY GOD! I'M PREGNANT?

Oh Ra.

Malik: No Bakura, you can't get pregnant.

Bakura: How do you get pregnant? Where do babies come from?

Mariku, Ryou, and Malik: Eh?

Ryou: Um, well, that has to do with what we want to tell you about.

Mariku: Ok.

Malik: We're putting you in puberty classes.

... Awkward silence ...

Mariku and Bakura: WE HAVE TO GO TO A PUBERTY CLASS?

Odion: Dun dun duuuuun!

Malik: That's better.

ING: ...nh.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ok, so now me and Ryou are outside a room waiting for our yami's to come back out. We took them to a psychiatrist to learn this stuff for two reasons. One: They'll get more attention so they can't goof off. Two: She's the only person who will teach two boys, one looking nineteen and the other fifteen, about this crap. When we left, Bakura was clinging to Ryou, screaming like he was being stabbed to death, and Mariku was oddly calm.

You're probably wondering WHY they're going through _puberty_ so late. Well, Bakura never really grew up after what happened to him when was little and that took affect on a lot of his immaturity. I think that he was only to go through _puberty_ after losing his virginity. Mariku on the other hand is extremely young with the body, I'm not quite sure about his mind, of the late teenage years. You're also probably wondering why I'm talking like some fucked up dumb ass screwed psychologist, right? I don't know.

Ryou: Do you think everything's ok in there?

How should I know?

Malik: How should I know?

We were quiet for ten more minutes until the door opened and the two fucked up crazies came out. Bakura looked like he was about to cry and Mariku was patting his back softly.

Ryou: What is it?

The psychiatrist came out and frowned.

Psychiatrist: Well, these two did decently. They need to come back for extra classes everyday for a week. You need to come too-

Me and Ryou screeched.

Psychiatrist: I'm also going to do some tests on them to see if they're healthy. Well, Bakura seems to be decent. How old is he?

Ryou quickly made up an age.

Ryou: Fourteen!

Crap, isn't that a little young?

Psychiatrist: Hmm, he does look young. Didn't your parents talk to you about this stuff?

Ryou: Eh, to me...

Psychiatrist: How old are you?

Ryou said the true age this time.

Ryou: Nineteen.

Psychiatrist: I see, well, Bakura seems to be just about on time for this process. Mariku on the other hand... How old is he?

I made up an age this time.

Malik: Seventeen.

Psychiatrist: Really? He should have started this quite a few years ago...

He wasn't alive quite a few years ago.

Psychiatrist: How old are you and did your parents talk to you about this subject?

I said my true age

Malik: I'm twenty and no, my parents are dead and my brother talked to me.

Psychiatrist: I see, well, these two may or may not need counseling so I'll call to let you know. Good bye!

We left and went back to my house. Ryou sat on the couch, looking annoyed, Bakura sat next to him, playing with a stuffed cat (see Kurai Mikomi), Mariku was watching T.V, and I was sitting next to them, also annoyed. I mean really! Why do WE have to go?

Bakura: I still don't know where babies come from.

Ryou: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shadi: Are you guys ok?

Malik and Ryou: NOOOOOOOOOO!

KBF: What'd you think? I made this chapter longer than the others didn't I? Oh ya, in these stories they're older. (A.K.A the Ryou and Malik thing saying their ages.) But their darks are the same, aging slower.

ING: I make no sense. Ugh, I'm sick...

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	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Well, we're back. Bakura sitting on my lap looking like he's going to puke and Mariku is, once again, oddly calm. The reason Bakura all sick is because we just watched a 'video' and witnessed the birth of a child. I must say, even I feel sick. Who said woman were weaker then men anyway? Men didn't have a watermelon come out their ass! Well, Bakura's recieved his answer on where babies come from and how there made. What the hell?

Bakura: I did _that_ with Mariku, does that mean I'll get pregnut?

Psychiatrist: It's pregnant dear and no, boys can't have babies. Aren't you a little young to do that?

Hehe.. hehe... She has no idea...

Ryou: Sooo, let's just get on with this! Shall we?

Psychiatrist: Right, well, I would like to have them tested the day after tomorrow.

Malik: Right ok. Come Bakura, Mariku, let's go.

Ryou: Wait for me!

o-o At home o-o

Bakura: Wah! I don't wanna go back!

Oh gods.. Why is he such a wimp?

Malik: They're just going to do some tests-

Bakura: Wah!

Ryou: Why don't we, Malik and I, give you two a bath?

Mariku: Bubbles?

Malik: Yes, lots of bubbles.

Bakura: Ducky?

Malik and Ryou: Ducky?

Bakura: N-No ducky? Wah!

Ok, I think we have an old rubber duck upstairs. Stop crying Bakura!

Ryou: Ducky, here, see?

He handed Bakura a small rubber duck.

Bakura: Ducky!

At least he stopped crying. We went upstairs and stripped our yamis. Bakura has a _really_ small frame, I wonder if he eats that much? My yami on the other hand is pretty built. Curse the toughness! We lifted each others yamis into the bathtub. It surprised me how strong Ryou is, I couldn't even pick up my yami an inch, that's why we switched. Bakura played with his ducky as I washed his hair and Mariku tried to move the bubbles into shapes while Ryou cleaned his hair.

Bakura: Ducky says hi, bubbles ignore him!

Malik: What?

Bakura: Ducky -points to himself- says hi, but bubbles -points out the window- ignores him!

Ryou: What are you talking about?

Bakura: Nobody pay attention me!

I stripped and climbed in, sitting with Bakura. Ryou gave me a funny look, but kept quiet.

Malik: C'mere.

Bakura crawled toward me in the water and cocked his head like a little puppy.

Malik: Do you want to sit on my lap while I wash you?

He nodded and climbed on to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I took a washcloth and covered it in soap, rubbing his back with it.

Bakura: Nn.

Ryou gave me another look and smiled, understanding. He also stripped and climbed in with Mariku, who was flicking at the suds. Before I knew what happened, Bakura had fallen asleep while I was rubbing his back and Ryou was next to me with Mariku leaned on his shoulder.

Mariku: Bakura's sleeping?

Ryou: Yes, shhh.

Mariku: Ok, shhhhh..

Well, Bakura's turned over, in his sleep, and now I'm scrubbing the other side of his body, well, the part not underwater, which is just past half of his ribcage. Mariku just fell asleep in Ryou's arms.

Ryou: Malik?

Malik: Ya?

Ryou: What would you think if I kissed you?

T-That was unexpected. I really like him though, so...

Malik: I think I'd like that.

He leaned toward me and, well, kissed me. I felt like I was floating as I opened my mouth and he explored my mouth. We fought for dominance, until hearing some bubbles like air coming up from underwater. We released eachother.

Ryou and Malik: Bakura!

Bakura came up from under the water, giggling, and Mariku sat next to him, arm around his shoulders.

Malik: Mariku! What the-?

Bakura: Mariku woke me up to show me! We've been waiting for this to 'appen!

Mariku squeezed his shoulders and grinned.

Odion: Konichiwa!

Malik, Ryou, Mariku, and Bakura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

KBF: Awkward ending. But I liked it!

Mariku: Who made up the plot, like there is one, for this story?

Malik: The authoress.

Mariku: Man! She sucks ass!

KBF: Be careful! I can do things to you!

Mariku: Ya, like what?

KBF: -turns him into a girl-

Mariku: You fuckin' bitch! You still don't own me!

KBF: -cries-

Bakura: Grrrr... Mariku...

Mariku: SHHIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Ryou: Um ya, please reviewer like tcha care!

KBF: -sniffs- review...

ING: It's baaaaaaaack!

**

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	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

We're back again, the psychiatrist we had before got a male doctor to check them. Right now he's checking Bakura, who's screaming his head off quite a lot. Ryou looks worried.

Ryou: Malik, there's a lot of pain coming through our link and he seems to be in distress.

Distress? Now I'm worried. Why is he even checking Bakura anyway, she said he was probably fine!

Malik: Something's going on.

The screaming stopped and five minutes later Bakura came out, trying to hide a limp and looked positively sick.

Doctor: Now, Mariku doesn't need to be checked. Um, he's perfectly fine.

Probably thinks that Mariku will beat the shit out of him and by the look Mariku giving him, I'd say he's right. Ryou's giving the doctor a look while him and Mariku are trying to talk to Bakura, who's staring at the ground. I saw the doctor smile wickedly out of the corner of my eye and growled. I was about to go at him when Mariku beat me to it.

Mariku: What the FUCKING HELL did you do to him?

Doctor: B-Bakura, go ahead, you can tell them.

Bakura:... It wasn't bad. It hurt a lot though.

Malik: Tell us what you did..!

Doctor: Ok -explains in fear-

Ryou, Mariku, and Malik: Oh.

-o- at home-

Malik: Bakura, if you had Mariku inside you as a preteen, you could surely go through that.

Bakura: I still didn't like it!

Ryou smiled softly and carried Bakura to bed, which he protested against. The same for me and Mariku.

-o- the next day

Ryou: Not again!

I ran into their bedroom and yelled. Bakura was once again a preteen.

Bakura: Fuck off!

Ryou Hey-

Bakura: Watch it girly!

Hehe, girly...

Ryou: Girly?

Bakura twisted over and moaned.

Malik: Bakura, are you ok?

Mariku: No, he's got a boner.

Ah! And Mariku's, like, twelve too! NO! RA WHY ME! And he's out from under the bed.

Bakura: What the hell?

Malik: Bakura..

I pulled him out of the bed and, sure enough, I feel something hard against my stomach before he tries to escape.

Bakura: Lemme go!

Malik: Calm down!

Bakura: No!

Mariku whispers something into his ear and Bakura calms, breath against my neck slowing down slightly. He calmly wrapped his skinny arms around me and sighed. I felt his erection rub against my stomach and obviously annoy him.

Bakura: Nn!

Ryou patted his back, trying to get over the girly comment and lifted his shirt, licking the uncovered part of his back.

Bakura: Ah!

Malik: What are you doing?

Ryou: Just getting him back for the girly comment.

Ryou licked Bakura's back again, causing another low moan and he erection to grow further.

Bakura: Stoooop!

Mariku: Ryou that's-?

Ryou had taken Bakura from me and was laying him on his bed, rubbing just above his erection.

Bakura: Uh! No! -pant- Nooo!

Mariku: Stop it!

Ryou: Fine, but that was fun.

Bakura's was lightly flushed but he had a scowl on his face.

Mariku whispered something in his ear and he smiled.

Malik: Ok, that's enough! Mariku, you and Bakura be good, I need coffee!

-O- Mariku's POV light lemony freshness

Mariku: So, you want to do it?

Bakura: Ya, I thought Ryou was gonna rape me for a minute though.

Mariku: All of us did.

I started to take off his shirt, then boxers. He's so beautiful, pale skin and hair shining. I removed my clothes and smirked down at him, he smirked back. I kissed him and started to rub are erections together, groaning.

Bakura: Uhhhhhhh...

It felt so good and we ground into each other harder and faster. We groaned in pleasure and, soon enough, Bakura came, nearly screaming but covering his own mouth. I was next.

lemon over, short lemon, mainly some kinda lime

Bakura: U-Uh.. Gods...

Mariku: You ok?

Bakura: I guess...

What does he mean 'I guess'? His face is twisted with pain and pleasure, mostly pain. His breathing was rough. I returned our clothing their rightful places and help Bakura to other bed.

Bakura: Ah! Owch...

I held him in arms and tried to focus on his pain, which was coming from his, stomach? Sure enough when I checked he screamed into my shoulder, crying.

Mariku: Shh...

Bakura was sweating a bit and clutching my shirt, crying harder. All I can do is this. /**Hikari!**/

Malik's POV

I was just finished with my coffee when I heard my yami's frightened call. /**Hikari!**/ I ran upstairs and to the room they'd been in to find Mariku holding Bakura in his arms. Bakura's face was twisted in pain and he was crying.

Malik: Ryou! C'mere!

Ryou, who had already been behind me, ran to Bakura as well I did.

Ryou: Bakura! What's wrong?

Bakura just kept crying.

Mariku: Bakura's stomach just started hurting! I don't know what happened.

I looked down at Bakura's shaking shoulders.

Malik: I'll be right back.

I brought some ginger ale and soda crackers upstairs to see if that would help. The ginger ale barely did much and he couldn't digest the soda crackers, last option. To the hospital.

KBF: I have NO idea why I wrote that. I was going to some cute shonen ai and have Malik and Ryou make out a little, THIS wasn't supposed to happen! Oh well, I guess it'll do..

Bakura: Fuck you.

KBF: Not now. Your going to the hospital.

Bakura: AHG!

Shadi: Well, just review her story, NOW!

ING: ...nothing can describe how disturbed I am...

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	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

We're at the hospital. It turns out Bakura appendix died. Yes, died. You have a problem with how I said it? Ok, his appendix exploded, sending bacteria throughout is body, causing him to be going through surgery at this very moment. The nurse said he probably would have died if we hadn't easily caught it right away. Poor Bakura, so innocent and cursed to be tortured throughout his life. Yes, I know of Kul Elna. Where his family and fellow villagers were killed in front of him as a young child. It's been an hour now. All silence until a nurse comes up to us.

Nurse: He is stable. Surgery was a success, though the boy should to try and stay void of sickness.

Malik: Can we see him?

Nurse: Yes. He is in room 315.

Malik, Ryou, and Mariku: Thank you.

We went up to his room and opened the door. Bakura was facing the other way, looking out the window.

Malik: Hey, how ya doing?

He slowly turned his head.

Bakura: Hn.

Ryou: Well, I brought a gameboy and some other stuff.

His eyes brightened slightly, but just slightly.

Bakura: Cool..

Mariku's eyes started to tear and he went up to Bakura.

Mariku: Are you mad at us?

Bakura looked upset at that and his eyes teared as well.

Bakura: N-No!

Ryou: Then what's wrong?

Bakura: I don't know, but I don't like needles!

Mariku: Hehe!

Bakura seemed a lot happier as he sat up.

Bakura: Wanna see my scar, stitches, whatever...?

Mariku: Cool, ya!

Bakura lifted his hospital gown, showing a two or three inches worth of stitches and lowered it again.

Mariku: Cool!

Ryou: That's neat Bakura.

Ryou gestured for me to follow him and we stood outside.

Ryou: Do you think he'll be ok after this?

Malik: Most likely. I think we should watch him for awhile to make sure he doesn't get sick again, but he seems fine.

Ryou: That won't stop me from being worried. At least he wasn't his normal self, he wouldn't of showed signs of weakness.

Malik: I'm just glad Mariku called for me.

Ryou: Yes.

We went back inside. Mariku and Bakura were joking around about eggplants. I don't want to know. Then the doctor came in.

Doctor: You'll have to leave soon, Bakura needs his rest. He will be able to come home tomorrow though.

Bakura: Awwwww...

Mariku: Darn!

Ryou: Ok then, here's the stuff we brought you Bakura.

Ryou handed the small bag to Bakura, who smiled.

Bakura: Thanks!

Malik: No problem kiddo! See ya tomorrow!

I hope.

KBF: Introesting... At least Bakura's ok!

ING: Poke.

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	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Well, we were at the hospital again. They let Bakura out, but he has to stay in a wheelchair for a little while and avoid a lot of activity. We're at home now, plus the psychiatrist said we can come back in two weeks! We've got two weeks to find a way to die... Joking! Since Bakura came back though, he hasn't been his loud obnoxious self.. Oddly quiet. The yami's are still twelve, kind of a good thing. I think...

Now, Ryou's in the kitchen, like the women he is, and cooking dinner. (a/n: i'm a girl, so i'm **not** sexist!) Bakura sitting in the wheelchair playing Super Smash Bros with Mariku, and I hereby am... **so fuckin' bored it's not funny**...

Ryou: Guys! Time to eat!

Huh? Food? Yippee!

Bakura: Cool! Agh! How do you work this damned chair on wheels.

Authoress: Wheelchair.

Bakura: No. No. That's not it!

Oh Ra, he can be such an idiot.. .. .. .. .. AH! TEA!

Tea: Like, hi! I'm glad we're all friends! Friendship is like flowers and stars and love and OOH! Bakura! What happened to you?

Bakura:... -looks around- FUCK OFF BYATCH!

Pharaoh: I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Malik, Ryou, Mariku, and Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tea: I love you Yugi!

Pharaoh: It's Yami!

Authoress: I'm calling you pharaoh.

Pharaoh: Shut up! And where did you come from?

Authoress: I'm writing this. Bye! -bing!-

Hahahahahaha!

Malik: Haha!

Bakura: Tea! Get off me!

Ok, stupid authoress is gone... OW! Ok, must be nice to her... Ah! Tea! Get the fuck off him!

Malik: Get the fuck off him!

Tea: Friends shouldn't curse at friends- -bing!-

Malik, Mariku, Ryou, Bakura, and Pharaoh: She's gone! YAY!

Pharaoh: Bye! -bing!-

Holy friggin nostril head...

Bakura: Ow! My head...

Something's happening to Bakura... It's like we're seeing him age, the same with Mariku right now too.

Mariku: Ah!

They're back to normal, well, as normal as they can get...

Bakura: My stitches opened up.

Me and Ryou went over to check, and indeed, his stitches had opened up a little, spilling some blood on his stomach. I saw Ryou take out some string and a needle and start fixing the stitches.

Malik: What the hell?

Ryou: Well, we can't neccesarily take him ack to the hospital.

I looked up at Bakura from my bent over position and noticed the grimace on his face.

Malik: You ok?

Bakura: Ya, but that kind of tickles...

Mariku: Hehe, It could be worse.

Bakura: Ya! Bloody, gory battle of wits!

Mariku: Ya!

Malik and Ryou: They're normal... Well, as normal as they can get...

DAK: Hehe! I'm hyyyyyyyyyyyyyyppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I ate sugar!

TNI: My cousin is a psycho... Beware.

DAK: SO ARE YOU!

Bakura: Review with ideas. Pwease? -cute chibi face-

ING: Mmm...

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	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Ryou's POV

The yami's are finally asleep. Malik is in his room with Mariku next to him and I'm in mine next to Bakura. Bakura... Why him? Now he's shifting, his eyes open.

Bakura: Ryou, why are you staring at me?

I bent down and kissed his forehead. Bakura cocked his head, the best he could with it in a pillow, and smiled.

Bakura: Ryou, do you love me?

I was taken aback. Of course I love you!

Ryou: Of course I love you!

He smiled and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. I've noticed he's even skinnier then me! Note to self, start making him eat more. Bakura snuggled to my chest, content as he gets, and sighed.

Bakura: I love you too Ryou-chan..

He fell asleep as I sat there, taking it in. He, loves me... By the way he acts at times I thought he hated me.. I continued sitting there.. taking it in as I stared at Bakura's porcelin like face.

Ryou:... Oh.

Malik's POV

We woke up in a growling cranky wave of annoyance, again. Well, Mariku and I. Ryou and Bakura were oddly, happy this morning. That's just **not** like them! After breakfast, I went to talk to Ryou.

Malik: What's with you?

Ryou: What?

Malik: You're all happy this morning! That's **not** like you!

Ryou: SO?

Malik: So I want to know what's going on!

Ryou: Oh, Bakura said he loved me and I said it to him. Big deal?

Malik: Oh. Um, I'm going to watch T.V!

Ok, **that** was embarressing! But, at least I know now. Aw! Bakura actually said that? CUTE! AH! I sound like a preppy girl! AH! Begone demon! Ok, so I put too much sugar on my strawberries this morning.. dear ra that sounded wrong...

Bakura: Malik! What are you doing?

Malik: Um, just standing to enjoy the view!

Bakura: It's a wall.

Malik: But it's a **purple** wall!

Bakura: Okaaaaaaaaaay...

Mariku: Hey guys..

Malik and Bakura: AH!

DAK: Dumbest chapter yet... REVIEW!

ING: Everything sounds SO wrong!

This chapter is dedicated to Gaara's1and0nly

**

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	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Bakura's on the couch asleep next to Ryou who's watching T.V. It's been two weeks and Bakura got out of the wheelchair, but if he feels faint at all then he has to use the damned thing again.

Bakura:... ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...

Ryou: He STILL acts like he's four. What happened to his brain? I remember him being smarter than this.

Malik: It had to be that Barney, or Teletubbies, or worse: Hooked On Phonics! Dun duuuuun duuuuuuuuuun!

Ryou: Oh no!

Malik: But, we were cautious to keep him away from _that_.

Ryou: Right right.

Bakura:... Ryou?

Ryou: Ya?

Bakura: I'm hungry.

HAHAHAHAHAH_A_HAHAHAHAHA!

Malik: Heh, hehe, hahaha, what, hehe, do you want?

Bakura: Ceerel!

Ryou: It's pronounced cereal.

Bakura gived him a glare.

Bakura: C-Ceereel.. I said it!

Ryou: Good job, let's go get a cookie and some cereal.

Bakura: Cereal! Cookie! Cookie! Cereal!

Seriously, what the hell happened to him when he got a body? He was fine until after Mariku sent him to the shadow realm in Battle City! Did the barney monster catch or something?

Mariku: I wanna cookie too!

Malik: Bakura!

Bakura: Ya Malik!

Malik: Wanna ride a horsie?

Bakura:... HORSIES ARE MEAN! WAH!

Ok, not good. Crying yami.. Worse!

Bakura: Uh uh! Wah!

Ryou: What's wrong? Did you say something about horses!

Bakura: Wah!

Malik: Um, um well, um, ya...

Ryou: Well, come here Baku-chan!

Bakura: Ryouuuu!

Ok, this is just getting weirder by the second. Bakura's crying and cuddled into Ryou's sweater.

Ryou: I'll tell you later.

Ok...

Malik: Ok?

Bakura: Uh uhwah!

Ryou: Ok.. Shhh.. Shhhh..

Ok, Bakura's asleep now.. good.

Ryou: The reason he started when you said horses was that, well, he never did do well with them.

Malik: Ok...

Mariku: Where'd Ishizu go?

Ishizu: Hi.

Mariku: WAH!

Ishizu: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Oooh, Shiu has a mouth... And yes, I meant to say Ishizu that way.

Ryou: Woah.

Malik: I know, you should see her PMSing...

Ishizu: WHAT!

Odeon: Check please...

DAK: Yo. I LIKEY!

ING: -.-'

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	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ishizu is scary. OO;;; I mean REALLY scary.

Ok, apparently the horses thing goes like this. After Bakura got his body and they hadn't met up with us yet they went to a petting zoo. At the petting zoo, Bakura was petting the horses and it bit him. Then, the horse got out, then the other horses. They did not like him and chased him. Bakura ran to Ryou crying. The End.

So ya, Bakura's scared of horses VERY much.

Ryou: Malik!

WTF da u want bitch?

Malik: What?

Ryou: Are you revealing Bakura's horse story to the world?

Malik: Um, of course not, hehe...

Ryou: ...

Malik: -holds breath-

Bakura: -starts crying- Uhwah!

Ryou: Oh no!

Thank you Bakura! Ryou's in the other room tending to the yami, and I'm sitting on the couch, reading.

Odion: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Malik: Get the hell out! Where are you when we need you on set! This is a story about me! Not you! ME! -doesn't notice odion has left- WHEN W-notices- ... DUMBASS!

DUMBASS, COWARD-

Meriku: Malik.

Malik: WHAT?

Meriku: -wide eyed- I found you're gameboys.

Oh.

Malik: Oh, thank you!

Meriku: Okaaaaaaay... -runs away-

Now Bakura and Ryou are in the room. And Ryou's saying something in some other langu- HOLY SHIT! HE TURNED BAKURA INTO A KID!

Malik: What the HELL?

Ryou: He's better this way, not so messed up.

Bakura: Where the fuck am I? Oh, nevermind.

OO;;

Malik: OO;;;;

OMFR...

Ryou: Bakura, get your ass over here.

Bakura went over and sat on the couch, Ryou kisses him, then moves on top of him.

Malik: YOU MADE HIM THIS WAY SO HE COULDN'T FIGHT YOU! BASTARD! MERIKU!

Meriku runs in and sees Bakura trying to get away from Ryou.

Ryou: So what? -drunk slur-

Malik: YOU'RE DRUNK?

Bakura: Get off of me you bastard!

Meriku yanks Bakura into his arms and Ryou.. falls off the bed.

Bakura: Omg,omfg,omfr,omg,omfg! I almost got raped! AGAIN! -crying-

Malik: What do you mean again?

Bakura: Doctor, Dad, Pharaoh, RYOU! -sobbing-

Meriku makes cooing noises and leaves the room with Bakura. I stand in the middle of the room, shocked.

Malik: Oh my FUCKING RA.

Shadi: And CUT.

Me: Yep, sorry I've been gone. Family shit.. My older brother, died. GRRR. AND THIS IS _NOT_ A GOOD TIME TO FLAME ME! ...evil glare

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	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ishizu: I'm sorry for our cancelation, and now back to the show!

Odion: Cut!

Ishizu: What?

Odion: That's Malik's line.

Ishizu: Oh.

Odion: Ok, and ACTION!

Malik: I'm sorry for our cancelation, and now back to the show!

Ryou: Bakura.

Bakura: ...

Ryou: Bakura.

Meriku: Yes?

Ryou: Is your fucking name Bakura you jackass?

Meriku:... maybe.

Bakura: -jumps on top of him and starts kissing him-

Meriku: meep!

Malik: Give me that man milk baby!

Shadi: o.O What?

Malik: I love Britney Spears!

Everyone: o.O

Bakura: So... He IS gay...

Meriku: -turns bakura over and starts fucking him-

Ishizu: Get off my new bed-ah who am I kissing? EW!

Pharaoh: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun-

Everyone: Fuck off pharaoh!

Tea: LALALALALALALALALALALA!

Ryou: It BURNS!

Ok, so maybe we're not THAT insane. -rewind-

Odion: And ACTION!

So, we live in a normal Japa-what oh wait sorry- We live in Egypt? Oh, ok. So, we live in a **normal** Egyptian household with normal everything. Ok, so maybe we're not normal either. Here's my story, again...

... ACTION?

Odion: Oh right sorry, AND ACTION!

Bakura: Ryou?

Ryou: What?

Bakura: I think I wet the bed.

Ryou: 0.0 Wha? -looks- No, you came in your sleep. See, it's all over your stomach, here, I'll clean you off.

Bakura: What? Ohhhh...

Tax Collecter: Hello, I'm here to- HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Meriku: I never knew those people cussed.

And neither did I until WE ALL came along. We're just a typical weird assed house, cum with me bitch, and don't worry. I will be back. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

a/n: I know, I haven't updated, sorry. :) But, I shall spring away from certain clutches and keep writing. Review please. :)

ING: ... ... trick or treats, I'll give you tricks or treats ...

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	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ok, so we've been gone awhile. We went to... um... nevermind. Hey look, Kaiba's here!

Malik: Kaiba my man-

Kaiba: Shut up.

Ooh, cold. Ok, so he's still as much of a moody teenager as Ishizu-

Ishizu: Watch it!

Huh?

Malik: How'd you know what I was thinking?

Ishizu: You were talking out loud jackass.

Oh.

Malik: Oh.

Hey, Joey's here. ... Why?

Joey: Hey, 'shizu?

Ishizu: What?

Joey: Are you a man?

Ishizu: EXCUSE ME?

Ooh, this isn't going to end well at ALL... Wow, she did the refrigerater move on him... OW.

Joey: (sticking ass first from the tv) I'm... Ok...

Yeah, right.. Cool! Bakura! Ryou!

Malik: Bakura! Ryou! Hi!

Bakura: Ryou, there's a scary naked man saying hi to us...

Ryou: GET SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON! DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S CHILDREN HERE?

What do they mean-Oh MY FUCKING RA! I'm NAKED!

Meriku: Curtesy of Meriku Ishtar. HA. HA.

BITCH!

Malik: I'm GOING TO KILL YOU.

Steps: Yo homie G!

Everyone: Huh?

Steps: Sorry, the jobs still taken?

Everyone: Umhm.

Steps: Oh, my bad.

Ok... ? STILL NAKED... I think I'll put some clothes on... o.o yeeeeaaahh..

Bakura's POV

Scary naked men are funny. NO. Kura you are NOT gay. Hmph! GAY PORN! Ok, so I MIGHT be gayish. A LITTLE.

Ryou: Bakura?

AH!

Bakura: I'mnotwatchinggayporn!

Oops.

Ryou: Huh?

Bakura: Nothing.

Meriku's POV

Heh, I have to hide from hikari for a VERY long time. Hee. He's SO going to kill me.

Bakura: MY LOVE!

Heh?

Meriku: Oh! Love of my life! (dramatic pause) Where's the kitchen again?

Bakura: (dramatic pause) This way love!

Hm, pizza!

Malik's POV

AH! My name is NOT Makkypoo! ARGH. Mrrrr. meep. Oh my fucking ra, Mai... And Shizuka (1)? Wow...

Mai: (kissing shizuka)

Shizuka: (devils sign while kissing mai)

Interesting... Yuri. Hm... Oh.. The mutt. This should get interesting.

Joey: OH MY GAWD!

(laughing my ass off) Hehe, he passed out... heehee.. Kaiba?

Kaiba: MY PUPPY! (picks up passed out joey) I... Love... You... (kisses him)

Joey: Hm? (wakes up) EYAH! (looks around) Oh wait. Is dis a scene?

Everyone: Yes.

Joey: Oh.

And then Kaiba and him start fucking like horny assed gay rabbits. WHOOHOO!

Ryou's POV

Am I the ONLY normal one here?

Meriku: Yes. (disappears)

Heh? Anyway, Bakura's being such a dramaqueen. YES. DRAMA**QUEEN**. And he says I'M feminine. Heh. HEH. Oh. there's Malik. I wonder what he'd do if I kissed him?

Ryou: Hi Malik.

Malik: Hi Ry-?

Oh my lord, I'm actually kissing him. Oh god!

Malik: (kisses back)

Oh my god!

Bakura's POV

Meep, I just ran into Ryou and Malik fucking... Eep. Meriku!

Meriku: (picks bakura up and in the air)

Bakura: Whee! (wraps arms and legs around meriku)

And then we kissed, the end. Butt out you filthy pervs!

Malik's POV

Holy shit, Ryou just fucked me. Hm, I never knew he was a seme.. Oh wait, nevermind.

Ryou: (purrs) Had fun?

Malik: Meep. Yes.

Grandpa: Room serv-HOLY FUCKING SHIT! A BUNCH OF HORMONAL FUCKING TEENAGERS!

Wow. Grandpa got a mouth. O.O

a/n: Glad I'm updating? This has to be one of my longest chapters yet. (proud) :) REVIEW. Please:)

ING: I want ice...COOKIE.

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	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

I am like, SO, bored! Meriku and me were playing checkers and Bakura's cock wouldn't cum so Ryou told us to take off the cockring but I didn't want to so Meriku kept giving him a blowjob and I kept fucking him. Then Bakura, being the loudest, lost his voice from screaming and yanked off the cockring and was cumming for a LONG time. He passed out. Then Meriku took Tea, VERY GORY, and, to make sure she would suffer, gave her a immortality potion, which we invented, and then cut ALL the bones out of her body to make her jelly, then sucked out ALL her blood to dry her. Then he stitched up her lips to shut her up, peeled off her nails and made her swallow them, then he peeled off all her skin, cut out her stomach and gave her mortality potion. She died painfully, oh and her vocals were slashed and she was like a fish. Bakura came back, and he's naked. WOW.

Malik: Hey Baku-RA.

Bakura: Shut UP! You know NOTHING of RA! He's a bastard!

Interesting.

Malik: Calm down.

Bakura: NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONO-

Ryou: Shh, 'Kura-MALIK WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?- Shh, here's a blanket to cover yourself with-DON'T YOU LEAVE-It's ok Bakura, you can cry.

Wow. I made Bakura cry, and Ryou scream. I'm on a roll.

Malik: I'm sorry.

Ryou: SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT! AND WHY IS HE NAKED?

Malik: I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

Ishizu: Why is Bakura lying on the couch, in a blanket, crying? And why is Meriku poking at himself with my ritual dagger?

Oh SHIT...

Malik (Ryou): MERIKU! (bakura...)

Ryou's POV

Malik went upstairs to handle Meriku and I stayed to help Bakura, who was now leaning on me and crying. HARD.

Ishizu: Is he ok?

Does he look ok, biotch?

Ryou: No, duh.

Ishizu: Well, sorrrrrryyyyyyyy.

Negh.

Ryou: Whatever.

Bakura: R-Ryou...?

Ryou: Yes?

Bakura: Why's the wall purple?

IT **IS** A PURPLE WALL-no wait, it **is** blue.

Ryou: It's blue.

Bakura: No, it's purple... no, nevermind. Ryou?

Ryou: Yes?

Bakura: I love you.

WHAT?

Ryou: Huh?

Bakura: Correction: I love you like a BROTHER.

Oh ok.

Ryou: Ok.

Malik's POV

Meriku's insane and idiotic. Have you noticed? He was trying to turn himself into a chicken.. WHO THE HELL WANTS TO BE A CHICKEN? I want to be a mouse.

Odion: You're close, you're a rat.

Malik: How the hell did you know what I was thinking?

Odion: I'm psychic, woooooo!

Malik: Oh my ra!

Steps: (idiots) dun, dun dun dun, dun dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun, dun dun, dun dun!

a/n: I luff you all! You rule! Thanks for all the reviews!

ING: chickens... Chiiiiiiickens... CHICKEN!

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	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Malik's POV

Ew, I haven't taken a shower in a week. EWWW... Gross.

Ishizu: Nice hair-

Malik: You know **nothing** of beauty!

Ishizu: Ok...

Ryou: Shh, Bakura finally went to sleep.

Bakura: Mrrr... (purrs)

Meriku: H-

Odion: (grabs him around the mouth and face then diappears)

Ok...

Malik: Insanity has been let loose... Ryou.

Ryou: Yes?

Malik: I love you.

Bakura's POV

Ok, so Malik has confessed his love for Ryou an hour ago and they ended up fucking, Ryou on top. Meriku died my hair black with red streaks and put eyeliner on me. Then he had me wear a pair black cargo pants, a red shirt, and combat boots. He keeps saying I look hot as hell. I don't buy it.

Meriku: Hey hot stuff!

Eh?

Bakura: Hi Meriku. Stop calling me that too!

Then Meriku wrapped his arms around me.. And kissed me. It felt so good, so I kissed back. Then after awhile, we ran out of air.

Bakura: M..Meriku. What was that for?

Meriku: For being my sweet little one.

Sweet little one. That was what my mother said to me before she.. died. She was raped. Stabbed. Dead.

Everything's going dark.

Meriku's POV

I just called Bakura my sweet little one. Then he stared into space for a moment, started hypervenelating, screaming, then he started crying. I'm on the couch holding him right now. It's been an hour, and he's asleep now. Ryou just came in and sat next to us.

Ryou: Is he ok?

I'll tell him the truth.

Meriku: I called him my sweet little one, then he started crying and such.

Ryou: Ohh, dear.

He bent over and kissed Bakura on the cheek.

Ryou: I like the look you gave him.

How did he know?

Meriku: How did you know I did that?

Ryou: You just told me.

Ohh, he so got me.

a/n: I still luff you all!

ING: ..

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	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Bakura's POV

(dream ((older bakura in the dream watching).)

I'm sitting in the middle of blood stained grounds. My mother dead on one side. My shattered childs soul on the other. It's crying, asking mother to awaken. Mother's blood stained mortal soul is coming from inside. It looks at me, with pity and something else. I miss her, oh so much. Amunet, my sister, walks upon the grounds, coming to me with a frown. She starts to say my name, but then she's grabbed by the neck. Rape. Death. Hate. Emotions are completely useless. Why should I feel anymore? I'm a slave to this world.

(real life ((meriku ryou)).)

Ryou: Do you think he's ok? He isn't waking up, and he's twitching.

Meriku: I'm not sure.. Bakura, love, wake up. Please.

The two sat, watching the psychotic yami lay on the bed, motionless.

(hour)

Bakura moaned and rolled onto his stomach in is sleep. Ryou looked over immediately and looked up from Meriku's back, who moaned in an annoyed tone. He hadn't heard Bakura.

Ryou: Oh my, did you hear that?

Meriku: Mm, hear what?

Ryou: (sigh) Bakura rolled over and made a sound.

Meriku pulled from Ryou and cried out as he fell back into Ryou's lap.

Meriku: Aahhh!

Ryou: Are you ok? Ngh..

Meriku stood up again and Ryou moaned deeply.

Ryou: Meriku, you're so hot.

Meriku: Why thank you, Prince Ryou.

Bakura whimpers and sits up, Ryou and Meriku not noticing. He leaves the room and goes into the bathroom. Bakura looked in the mirror and picked up a knife.

Bakura: No more.

He cut a line over his right eye and down his cheek.

Bakura: I will not feel.

He whimpered and cut over the line once, then twice. Ryou ran into the room and cried out at the sight of the blood running from the cuts on Bakura's face. Bakura cleared his eyes an face of emotions.

Bakura: Don't you knock?

Meriku: What did you do?

Bakura wiped some blood from his face and smirked.

Bakura: Fools. Leave or suffer.

Ryou: Bakura, what happened?

Bakura's eyes were covered by a shadow as he glared angrily at the two.

Bakura: Get the hell out!

Shadows started to form around the three and they disappeared into the shadow realm.

Malik's POV

Like, I am sooooooo hyper. Whoot!

Ishizu: Go to Ryou's, something happened to Bakura.

WHAT?

a/n: Did you like it my sla- I mean reviewers:)

ING: Surprisingly, this is not over. Yet.

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	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Ryou's POV

What happened? To Bakura I mean. He changed, reverted to the way he was when I met him. Cruel. Hateful. I had finally gotten him to calm and he was sweet. Childish. He was experiencing the childhood he never had. I was like the family he lost so young. Now, he's taken us to the shadow realm and they are fighting. Meriku and Bakura that is, are fighting.

"You can't beat me! You're just another personality created by Malik when he was hurt! You're worthless. You're not even real." Bakura hissed, grinning like a cheshire cat.

Meriku started to go at him, but froze.

"Don't hurt me, please. Meri? Help me... What's going on?"

Bakura had sat on the ground and was looking at us innocently, like he was before. Something wasn't right.

"Bakura, you **cannot** fool me. Get back up and fight, you coward." Meriku growled, gripping the dagger of the millenium rod tighter.

"But Meri, wha-What's going on? Why are we in the shadow realm? Why is there blood all over me?" Bakura whimpered, touching his cheek as a tear leaked from his eye.

"Bakura." I whispered. I wanted to help him, but for all I know it was a trick. Suddenly, Malik appeared and started to run to Bakura in shock. Fear.

"No-" Meriku and I cried, but it was too late.

"They hate me?" Bakura asked softly, cuddling into Malik's chest as he was picked up by him.

I was shocked. Didn't Bakura know what was going on? Was he just acting for Malik against us? Turning him away from us? I can't tell, but I wanted to go to him so bad. Then, I saw Bakura grin against Malik's chest.

"No! Malik!" I cried as Bakura lifted the dagger slowly behind him. Malik looked over at me.

"Wha-ah!" Malik cried, Bakura thrusting the dagger into his back slowly.

Meriku fell onto the ground and cried out as Malik fell to his knees, coughing up blood. Bakura suddenly reversed back to himself and looked at Malik.

"M-Malik...? Why..? I'm so sorry!" Bakura cried, falling to his knees and sobbing.

I still can't tell. Is he faking? Is he ok? I was thinking about that so much, I never noticed a grinning Meriku behind Bakura.

"Bakura. I'm going to kill you."

a/n: I know, mean aren't I? Yes, I changed the way they talk, but it's easier to understand, right? And I know, no humor right now. Don't worry, I may bring it back soon, but for now, this is the ride we take. I'll start the next chapter tonight so you guys can get on further. Well, goodbye my loves! Review please:)

P.S. Is Malik **really** dead? I'm thinking of that. Vote.

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	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Ich besitzen nichts!**

**Ja sein Deutsch, leben mit es. Obviously it's wrong.  
**

**As you can see, I'm using a English to German dictionary.**

**The disclaimer apparently says, "I'm nuts!" ... -.-' It was supposed to say, "I own nothing!"  
**

**Onward.**

Ryou's POV (**LEMON**)

Ok, to sum up the issue: Bakura just killed Malik and Meriku's pissed to no end. Not good. Meriku picked up Bakura by his shirt and punched him in the face. Bakura whimpered as the cuts on his face stopped healing and broke open, spilling blood on his teeshirt as he glanced over at Malik with sorrow.

"I'm going to rip you to pieces my pretty... You'll love it." Meriku purred, backhanding Bakura as he laid him on the ground before pulling up his shirt slowly. I don't know what to do, except... :)

Bakura screamed in pain and then grinned inhumanly.

"Why Meriku, I thought you were tamed. You can kill my landlord for all I give a fuck! He's as much of a freak as you." Bakura mewed, running his his tongue over his lip in some sort of sick lust. Meriku looked at him in confusion, then smirked, pushing his knee into Bakura's crotch and pulling out his favorite dagger, Mr.P, jammed it up Bakura ass roughly.

I inwardly flinched and continued with my ritual. It should start anytime now.

"Mmm, Meriku... (pant) You're good (moan)" Bakura grunted, bucking and causing Meriku to ram into him extra hard. Meriku grunted and lifted Bakura's legs onto his shoulders, working at an angle as blood gushed, making a small squeashing noises with their growls. I finished my ritual and grinned.

"Bakura. Prepare for some serious shit!" I yelled, lighting the black candle and watching the black light hit my yami.

"Here's Malik!" Malik laughed, sitting up and yanking the dagger from himself. Bakura let out a cry as he came and a light came from his mouth, screaming like a banshee. Then a spirit formed in front of them, hissing. He had black hair, dark skin, but piercing green eyes.

"I am Zorc and I have better things to do you fools!"he laughed insanely, then, oddly enough, disappearing. Meriku looked down at Bakura, who was making small whimpers, huddled as best he could, and pulled out of his body. Malik went over and kissed Bakura's forehead, who huddled into a tighter ball. Malik started to walk over to us, but was stopped by Bakura's voice.

"Did I do something wrong?"he asked in the softest, most childish voice I'd ever heard from him.

"Oh, Bakura.." I went over and pulled into my arms, his forehead resting on my collarbone.

"No, what did I do? Why did my mother die? Do I deserve this?"he asked again, slightly quieter, drifting away.

"No. Don't you **ever** say you deserved this shit!" I said a bit harshly, lifting his chin to face me. Meriku stared at Bakura in surprise and a tear fell from his eye.

"Oh my ra... I.. Oh ra.. B-Bakura."he stuttered, starting to cry slightly. Malik hugged him as the potion I gave him last year started to wear off and his life faltered. Bakura pulled out of my arms and went to Malik.

"Don't die..."

a/n: Oh, I'm good.

**SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE**

Ok, I've lost a lot of reviewers, or they aren't around or don't like angst, and I promised my brother I wouldn't update until I got at least three to five reviews. I know, grrr. But, that's because of my low review intake lately... And I'm failing school so he's mad at me. But ya, so, to further the review intake: Tell people about the story, review yourself. Ya well..

Also I shall continue humor again soon, I hope. I've been really depressed lately, so ya, continued onto writing it.

ING: Here's something from when I was thirteen, haha. Sevie.

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	34. And the saga is complete

I don't plan on updating this story (at least not for a VERY long time). I think I grew out of this one as I started it when I was 12. I'm almost 15 now...Well..Don't expect any updates. I'm sorry if you like this story. I'm not deleting it though because I AM proud of some of it and it takes too damn long to save all the chapters.  



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